When life is not as you thought it would be …

So every morning, I pray for my family- my wonderful husband and the 6 beautiful children we have been blessed with.  I always refer to them as “the best dream (I never had) come true!”  Because 20 years ago, if you told me I would have 6 children,  I would have told you you were crazy.  Even if you told me 15 years ago.  Ten? …

But isn’t that where we always see God’s hand?  I remember when my husband first asked me out.  It was through an email exchange we were having.   When I read it, I immediately went to a dear friend of mine, wondering  what to do.  “I am not looking for a relationship.  I like being single and alone.  I’ve dated enough!”  Her response was simple, “Well you can always use a friend and I think he would be a good one.”  Fair enough.   So I went on the date.   Who knew that 15 years later we would be here, with 6 children?!   Well, God did.  I always say that God hand-picked my husband for me, because quite frankly, I would not have been smart enough to choose him!  But God knew that he would be the perfect match for me!

And these six children?  Well, if I had listened to my doctor at the time, I would not have had any children.  I remember going to him and telling him we wanted to start a family.   And I remember him telling me I shouldn’t have children.  “I can’t have children?!”  He explained that no, I can have children, but shouldn’t.  He explained that having watched me for 7 years, even though I was doing great, he could see the decline and understood enough about MS to know it would be hard.  I remember his words, “You’ll never be the kind of Mom you want to be.”  Those words have often haunted me, because he was right.  But I wonder who ever is the Mom they want to be, all the time?   That day, I went home, crying.  My husband kept his ever-faithful, calm attitude, “Sweetie, we just have to give it to God.  We just have to pray about it.”   Well a month later, I was pregnant, and we believed God answered our prayer for guidance and clarity-yes, we should have children.  And when I told my doctor, he smiled and said, “I would never argue with the Big Man Upstairs.”

I often think about how I would have easily followed my doctor’s advice and closed the door to having children.   I laugh because, as the doctor “predicted” my health journey, I would still be here, struggling to walk and keep up with daily things.  The difference is I would not have the beautiful inspiration from these 6 little miracles!  They inspire me to keep going, to keep trying.  I hate to think how empty my life would be without them!  And I thank God for my amazing husband who had the strong faith to just trust.   See how God hand-picked him for me?     And life probably shouldn’t be the way I thought it would be.   I would have missed out on so much!

 

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